Positive Parenting

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a workshop at my local library, discussing positive parenting. It was hosted by a notable school here in the metroplex, called Momentous Institute. I have the honor of having friends who teach at that school, but it was nice to get training from one of their own.

My parenting style is gentle, attachment parenting, if I had to give it a label. It’s a lot of heavy lifting at the beginning, but before you know it, your child is the most independent child in the park doing things you never thought they’d do at that age. Going to this workshop inspired me, gave me more tools for my arsenal, and motivated me to continue on this path, even though it’s not the easy path.

Here are the biggest takeaways from the workshop….

We have the ability to transform our brains, including our child’s

Every day, we are interacting with our children, and everyday there are new highway systems developing. We know the first 18 months many ‘bridges’ are being built in their brains, which means cortisol (stress) levels in our child matter. If a child experiences a lot of trauma (Cry it out, neglect, hunger. etc,) they’re more likely to struggle with their emotions as they get older and have unhealthy coping mechanisms.

We discussed the three parts of the brain; the hippocampus, amygdala, and the prefrontal cortex. When the Hippocampus is on, the Amygdala is off, and vice versa. The hippocampus learns and stores memories, while the amygdala is responsible for big emotions.The prefrontal cortex is where we make big decisions…. It’s also the last to develop!

The prefrontal cortex which doesn’t FULLY develop until 20-25 years old. Why is this important? Because the prefrontal cortex is responsible for that moment when you ask your child “what were you thinking?!”… well, they’re not sure because their brain is still developing!

My take: The brain is soft spongy stuff that we need to help fill its’ potential. This can be done with healthy eating, hydration, a positive relationship with your children, and enjoying the great outdoors.

Mindful Parenting

Being Present: Where’s your phone when you’re with your child? When you’re having a discussion with your child, are you at their level? Are you making eye contact? Are you living for this moment with your child?

Being aware: Take a self assessment of yourself: Mind, body, spirit? Are you in pain? I know when I had tooth pain I was a ratty mom (it put teething into perspective). How’s your mind? Are you functioning on a empty vessel? Have you slept enough? These things impact our parenting, and impact our children. Spiritual fed or deprived? Again, this matters. If you function from a place of depriviety, you could struggle to be the parent you want to be.

Processing situations and facing them with an intent: Has you child hit someone for the 57th time today? My daughter did, and you know what? I have to address it. I have to tell her we use gentle hands. If we’re at the park, yes, I want a break, but how can I be thoughtful with this outing? What can I do to make dinner time more intentional?

What kind of teacher do I want to be?

You are your child’s teacher

The moment they’re on this earth, you are teaching them something, I love the quote they used:

My child sees life through me.

Our desire should be for our child to know that we can face everything in life by deciding how we are doing to face things, positively or negatively.

Are you stroking your child’s inner fire?

Are you helping your kids discover who they are and who they want to be?

Do the activities they participate in protect and promote their individual inner sparks?

I know these may seem like crazy things to think about so young, but I can already tell my daughter is a leader. She’s strong willed, curious, and likes to test the boundaries. I know some people would say that’s a flaw, but in the end, isn’t that who I want her to be as a adult? I don’t want her to just abide by rules because they’re rules, I want her to understand why they’re rules and decide if they’re morally just, and if they’re not, use the system to tear them down!

The night was jam packed with much more, but let me know if you want to hear more!

Be good,

Sydney